Live life the way you wish Girl !!!

How does it feel when you are not accepted the way you are ? Or let me put it this way, how does it feel when you are asked to alter yourself to fit in the criteria of someone else, as if, you yourself does not have your own identity, yes identity, my first identity is how I look, I may not be the so called perfect photoshoped  model that world sees on the cover page of magazines but whatever I am I have accepted myself and I am proud of myself. Just because I am dusky, skinny or obese, short or not so superbly crafted by nature does not make me less then anyone else in this universe. Incase if people have forgotten, everyone irrespective of his outer personality has a right to live the way ‘they’ wish to, and are not required by other people to be judged. They have a right to live carefree, not worrying about how people will look and think about them and they have all the rights to enjoy themselves.
If I am not good looking, or sorry if I may not fit in your criteria of so called good looking girl that is absolutely your problem World, I am not here to please anyone, I m here to live my life on my terms, I am here to live my life the way I want to. Yes I am dusky and I do not wish to spend my time working only on how to look fairer then my actual complexion because I do not care what you feel about me. Yes I am obese and I still wish to eat all what I like and wear all that I love wearing, because I am born with a purpose to enjoy the life gifted by God to me and I do not owe this to you World.
This is the level of confidence I wish to see in each and every female of our society and then I want to see how many people would dare to judge any female. Somewhere, it’s us who gives them this chance to make us feel low when we ourselves do not accept us the way we are. For the world to accept us, the first thing that we need to do is accept ourselves. We have worked hard to create an identity of ourselves working hard at home, at work and given our best at every point of time. We have many more things that makes us precious like our talent to work in corporate world and yet strike a wonderful balance between our personal and professional lives. Our outer beauty alone cannot justify our identity. If the world wants to judge they need to see the inner and outer qualities before passing the judgement, else stay away. We females are strong enough to handle our lives beautifully without judgmental people surrounding us.  

Life always gives a second chance, so grab it !!!

Just a week was left and I was all set to marry Ria and start our new life. I got a text from her “ I need to meet you Shyam”. It was a simple court marriage we had planned for. Later in the evening we met at our regular coffee shop, same place where it all started for the first time. She was in a different mood, I missed the excitement and happiness in her eyes that normally any girl would have when she is so close to her wedding day. She was not comfortable, something was bothering her too much.“I am done, I cant take it anymore.” She complained, “ what's wrong, what you cannot take anymore?” I asked, “You” she said, “ I cant marry you,  we are just not made for each other, we are not compatible”. She said all this in one go, as if she wanted to get rid of me and I was holding her back . She had high career aspirations and was doing extremely well in her career. We both were successful in our career in “our own way”.  Yes, what I mean by our own way is that we had a different definition to achieve our goals, but little was I aware that this would come in between our relationship shattered me to the core.

Post completion of my engineering and MBA I started working for an American MNC. I always wanted to be my own boss, hence started my own venture, but it takes time to settle when you move out of your comfort zone and start something of your own. Yes it was a risk and I was ready for it, probably she was not. We were dating each other since 2 years, things were good at start but I noticed her insecurities when I discussed my plan to start my own venture but I ignored it and assumed things will be fine as time would pass, also, I was confident about my skills and talent to start my business. This is what was making her insecure. Insecurities, fear was understood, but a drastic step of break up for this reason was difficult for me to digest. Time and again I was thinking the same thing that she did not trust my capabilities and my talent to handle things. It was all over, I tried to convince her, explained her but guess she had made up her mind and nothing was left for me to do . I had to let her go.

The date skipped from the calendar just as a casual day and many more such dates skipped , months and later a year. Her last words were still hitting my mind and this made me hard like a stone. My concentration was only at my work. My mom, who is a single parent insisted me to get married and got tons of proposals but I denied as the thought of getting into a relationship itself was stressful for me. I always had an opinion that knowing someone well in advance is better then getting into a pure arranged marriage, but after all what had happened I had lost interest in knowing someone and moreover I had lost interest in the concept of marriage, because all I believed in did not happen.

After lots of discussions and arguments with mom about me to settle down finally I agreed for an arranged marriage. I agreed to marry Kavya.  This was a new beginning of our Life, we hardly knew each other, we met for good 2to 3 times and things were final. There was just one thing I told her “ Its a new relationship we are starting with, I am ok to tell you my past before we go ahead, but, I do not wish to carry any kind of baggage in my new relationship.”  She said, “ Lets start on a fresh note, let us both not discuss about past , lets not dig it, instead, speak only about present and future”. I asked her “you would be spending your entire life with me, dont you wish to be aware about all what I was in past ?” she replied , “ We both have lived our life separately till now, we have met so many people in our life, we must have had so many good and bad moments and we have handled it in our own way. Rather then knowing about what could have happen, what went wrong and why were we not able to change it will make no difference to our present life, so why to start knowing about each other with past and judge each other.  I am sure we have many more good things to discuss and know each other rather then discussing all that’s gone and not a part of our Life anymore.” I loved this attitude of her. One thing I understood from her is things are never permanent in life be it good, bad or worst. It’s all on us about how we look at it. I loved the way Kavya took efforts for our relationship and that made me do more to make it stronger. I forgot Ria. She was a closed chapter for me, not only in my life but also in my mind. Since it was not love marriage in the beginning what worked out for us is the trust, respect and positive approach. Love followed eventually.

Today we have a five years old daughter and things are good. I have understood that It does not matter since how long you have been knowing each other and it’s not always true that strangers cannot be good partners. For every relationship the correct approach,  acceptance of the person as they are, trust and positivity is all that matters. This creates a bond which would never fade. I have no regret for all that happened because I would have never got a chance to meet a gem like Kavya who brought so much of positivity in my life and I firmly believe all that happens, happens for a reason.

Priceless sleep

I have often heard oldies shouting and complaining about the young generation as why do they prefer to sleep so much during holidays? But no one has tried to know the reason for same, its very easy to judge and say that people are lazy but its difficult to go to the roots and find the reason for this. Sleeping makes you forget about everything going around you for sometime, it takes you away from everything that's bothering you, corporate stress, career stress, social stress, competition is everywhere , we all are willingly or unwillingly part of this race and this keeps your mind continuously busy thinking how would u reach your goals, how will u cope up with the rest of the people around you and specially when there is no choice but to be a part of it . Life is no more a simple task where office and home locations are nearby, people spend quality of time and energy to reach work place, later the work pressure, along with this you are always gifted with some or the other political stress at work place, very few are blessed with a very peaceful and huddle free personal life, some struggle for finances and some for relationships. After all this if its just a peaceful sleep during a weekend it is a big ask ??

Diwali Learnings

After spending quality time at Marine drive sea face this diwali there were few things that inspired me to the core. I have heard , read , and seen people suggesting not to include fire crackers for diwali celebrations and I do agree as they are right on the environment and health issues but where my mind was stuck is that if crackers had so many disadvantages then why were they invented ?? Probably not all but few were invented with a reason , a reason to give a lesson of positivity , a lesson of hard work. An example of rocket will be a perfect compliment to what I exactly mean. One needs to be at ground level if he dreams to touch the sky, without being down to earth you cannot fly high. One needs to take the extreme pain of touching fire, this indicates taking risk in life, take a risk and trust yourself . Once the risk is taken pull your socks and move towards your direction without bothering what are the remarks given by the society to you, good, bad or ugly whatever be the case you need to reach the destination. Be so enthusiastic that people take a step behind and give you a space to fly high. Then when you reach the highest peak , your destination, you shine like a star and the people on ground level the ones who had taken a step behind will be the one capturing you in pictures. That's called your day, your moment . Live it , whatever be the duration and come down with all calm and compassion. This is what exactly life is all about . Everything in life has a meaning we just need to take an initiative and look deep inside.

Live Life !!

We all count the investments we made in our life , the returns that we are earning out of it. We are so busy earning money that we are constantly in the process of knowing how and what should we do so that we can earn more, live a better lifestyle, have a luxurious life . We start from the initial level that's education, forgetting the entire purpose of education we use it as a tool to earn wealth. But what next, and where does this end ? The answer is no where , we tend to ignore the biggest fact of life and that is to live our life, life is much beyond inhale and exhale of oxygen , its all about creating wonderful moments , to cherish them, live life with your loved ones, make mistakes , learn from your mistakes and move ahead , laugh on your mistakes nothing wrong in it , we are humans and we are bound to make many of them. Move out of your comfort zone and try something adventurous where you may not earn dollars but for sure some beautiful experience . At the end of your life dont count your dollars count your memories , trust me it will bring a bigger smile on your face .

Mummy and Me

Dear Mom, I don't need any special day to thank you , because you have not waited for special day to help me, to nurture me and be with me, you are all the time exclusively and unconditionally available for me and that's what makes me write this for you . The word Thank You stands no where if I compare to all what you have done for me and are doing till date but still , I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there with me , for knowing all what my heart says even before I convey it to you, you not only read my mind but also read my heart. Thank you for all those instant solutions and the expert advice given by you when they were needed the most. Above all, thanks for listening to me patiently, to motivate me and for believing in me all the time. Thank you for everything once again !! You mean the whole world to me :) Lots of Love, Vidhi :)

Let go !!

The best way to stay happy is to let go !! Easier said then done but that's the only way how you can keep yourself at peace and live this life in a beautiful way. The reason why people feel negative is because first, we cannot let go things in life, we hold on to things even when we know that its not in our control, rather then working on it we just sit and worry about it , don't we ? Second, we expect a lot from this universe, we expect all good deeds to come back to us immediately, we want all the success immediately , we expect that we never fall into any awkward situations in life and always have a fairytale like life , but, that's not possible and that's what we need to tell ourselves. Our life is not a fiction story, it is a real life where the author is none other but our own set of karmas performed by us. Whichever century we cross, whatever gadgets we use in our life the theory of karma will always remain the same . We need to do good deeds , expect less from this universe and have to let go things that are not in our control. Remember one thing, no one is fully satisfied in his life , a beggar starves for a single meal and a rich man walks miles to digest a meal !!!