No love / arranged Marriage its time for " Wise marriage "

"इश्क बेदर्दी म्जुह को पता है ..इसकी चाहत में मिलती सजा है .... बेकारी में मरर ही न जाऊं ..... ना समाज को में कैसे समजाऊ “All this is now just a part of entertainment and love is only found in history  ..." आज कल टाइम किसके पास है प्यार करनेका ... मुझे तो मस्त एकदम टिकाव & show piece type Wife चाहिए ...." This is what I hear from some of the prospective grooms in my latest profession. For me this is a complete different experience. I have convinced people to buy investment, to pay off their liabilities but never convinced anyone to get married. It sounds amusing but this is one of the most interesting profile I have ever come a crossed. First day , when I was new to this world of matrimony I thought after selling the most toughest product like Insurance this will be a cake walk , but , I confess today , that was a wrong perception I had . Because, here it’s emotional selling. These people have everything in their life except spouse & to some extent they are solely responsible for their loneliness. They spend most of their time behind their career and had paid least or no attention towards their personal life when it was required and now blame all possible events, person etc for their late marriage. Trust me , within these 6 months I have met  so many "Shaadi Pagal " ( yes , I call them shaadi pagal ) people that now if some one comes to me within 15 minutes like a doctor I can analyze the reason why is it getting delayed and prescribe him some tonics (read tonic as necessary changes that needs to be done in his personality ) so that he/she can get married ASAP . No intention to boost myself but this is the fact and this is actually what I have learned in my latest job. Most amazing fact that I have learnt is there is nothing like Arrange marriage or Love marriage, infact, there is a new concept developed "Wise marriage”. A pure balance sheet is prepared and people analyze where there is profit and where there is a loss .

 1st example, If 1 girl is pursuing her Post Graduation or if she can be a decent home maker in future     and 2nd is already a Post graduate then go for 2nd one. "Income flow will be much faster!!! Think positive.... मेरी home loan है यार.... If she will start giving output soon it will be easier & 2nd thing , if I am getting a readymade Post graduate girl why should I waste money and time behind the one  who is still pursuing , may be she will change her mind in future and I will have to bare the loss . They have a beautiful definition for home makers and that is " the one who helps me to make my home (read financially) "....Caste जाने दो यार .... Hardly matters , Its high time now I need to settle down in Mumbai . I am 27. "

We literally pity such kind of people. I really respect those people who value education, the one who values females and treat them equal, trust me a female never has any objections to support her better half financially during bad times and there are lacs of females doing this right now and as per the growing inflation rate the number of working females will increase day by day, but, what irritates most is greediness. If you want her to do all this for you, respect her views, respect her decisions, give her some space, allow her to decide on her career, give her the liberty to take the decision weather she would like to work for her entire life or only till the crucial period. Don t judge her only on the basis of her degrees. There are lacs of females earning more than 50K on basis of only Graduation and that to at very respectable positions. There are various fields & Sectors like Sales, BPO (not only voice process, remember BPO is a huge Industry and has various process), to some extent in banking and financial sector too and many more decent jobs .There are people who do not accept self - employed females, for obvious reasons.  But people do not wish to think so much. They just want lucrative degrees and handsome salary from their wives so that liabilities could be paid off easily.  These kinds of people actually deserve fantastic professional life, truly they are excellent professional, but, as far as their personal life is concerned...... "Its better I don t say anything”. But, here I will not blame only boys, there are females too who force guys to think in this manner. Over ambitious girls , one who gives priority only to their career will love such kind of guys because they do not like joint families , they feel taking this financial burden is easy rather then taking the burden of In laws .

2nd example, beauty , how can one forget this as this is one of the most ancient and most ever green requirement in matrimony purpose , but , here I saw  various colours in this requirement . I have one customer, well qualified, one of the most reputed businessman (would not like to name here) in their community, very rich family. But they had a very wired requirement , location no bar , caste no bar , no issues with education ( under graduate is also fine , even though his son is an MBA ) , financial status is not required a middle class girl will also do or someone even lower , nothing matters only one thing matters "Beauty " , she should have sharp features , that’s it , and most important guy does not have any say in this . Its family who decides , yeah , show off will be all done , they will sit for a meeting together and discuss all relevant and irrelevant topics but that will be least considered , "Vidhi उसको क्या पता चलेगा , वोह तो बच्चा है ... " . I said, " yes Uncle , 28 yrs का बच्चा ही  तो हुआ " (obviously in my mind ). I have lacs of such high class people's profile who run blindly behind beauty . This is life ....thats it . They feel they are rich they can get best of the best , and as per their definition beauty is the only quality , nothing else is required .

3rd example, these are simply called " sample piece " , because they themselves don t know what they want from their own life , forget expectations from spouse . Sometimes they themselves are so confused about themselves they don t know what exactly they are searching . Initially they register saying they are very strict about their caste , show themselves as very decent and sophisticated people . But , within few days we come to know that its all show off , they are so frustrated and fed up with their own lives that they are fine with anybody and everybody but not a single person on this planet is ready to marry them . The reason is their nature, that’s it . They have this non adjustable, suspicious nature, false ego, etc etc . These kind of people who go for Personalized services, because , here they feel they have hired someone who will be responsible if they do not get married , because , otherwise there is no one who takes their non sense but here they feel they can speak in any weird way just because they have paid . Once, my customer was rejected due to the reasons mentioned above and the reason she said is “There is a fault in my relationship manager, a relationship manager should always be a  psychologist .  she should have selected a guy for me , she does not understand the process of marriage as she is just 23 ( commonly said by people who get no other reason to blame the company , relationship manager is too young ), if she would have selected a right candidate I would have not wasted my time " . I felt like saying " Sure madam , from last 36 years you are wasting your time because of me , right ? , U don t know about your caste as your parents are both from different caste and you don t understand either of culture , but still you expect a person who belongs from your native , how intelligent , isn't it ?  one more thing , at this age also you feel you will not be comfortable staying with in laws and you dont hesitate to speak all this in front of the prospective groom and still you feel someone will accept you and will welcome you ? , I think madam you need to decide who actually needs a psychologist. "

Some also say , I got rejected because of this relationship manager , she does not have effective communication skills and must have failed to explain my profile to the prospective groom , agreed madam , I said , your extra ordinary profile does not allow me to use my communication skills , your pics with micro mini shorts and tight t shirts and the stylish way you have mentioned in your profile that you enjoy partying till late night , its still my fault that i did not convince the person to marry you . You are absolutely right madam . At the age of 30 also you are so enthusiastic and energetic . I still remember the way she said "what's wrong with my pics ? People are very modern now a days everyone wants an extra ordinary beautiful girl , and thats what I am . " I salute your confidence madam , what else I can say ?

But , If I add all this and If I don t add those excellent people in this post it will be very unfair , yes , there are some pure and true souls also , the one whose marriage genuinely get delay either due to social responsibility , some unavoidable circumstances in family or some other reasons , but , they are real gem of a person and we as a part of matrimony team actually wish that they get best of the best person and live an excellent life after their marriage because they actually deserve nothing else but the best in this world . I have seen old parents coming to my center and genuinely worried about their children , they trust us , we feel satisfied when we help them and this builds trust , love and respect for each other. There are cases where we personally give guarantee about the girl / boy only after seeing such kind of decent people . What these people need is just a shoulder to rely upon , and we as a team feel its a pleasure to cater such kind of true souls , it is more then just a job , its humanity . Just because of such kind souls I feel satisfied at the end of the day , their smiles and lovely blessings that they shower on me motivates me to work for them .

Lastly , no negative feelings for any one , its after all their own lives and may god give the best of the best to everyone .

I keep saying this word "Destiny"..........

"वक़्त से पहले .... और तकदीर से ज्यादा किसी को कुछ नहीं मिलता" Its one of my most repeated lines , or rather I should say I am a strong believer of this particular saying . Yes , some might feel it as a negative attitude towards life , some might feel that only after putting insufficient effort in a particular task which results into a failure I say this to save myself .....maybe they are right , I feel they are right because its a fact that I cannot be right always. But, the fact is I believe in destiny . I feel God has already stored something for us , its just a task given to us to find out what is stored in our destiny , or rather that's the only duty we have , or to be more professional its a "Job Profile" which we need to perform during our entire life .

There will be several people who will oppose this by saying , " You cannot get anything in this world without putting efforts ...... not putting adequate efforts and then blaming destiny is a sign of a person who is not confident about himself and most important who does not wish to accept the fact that he is incapable and does not wish to change himself " This has been heard by me from those people who strongly oppose destiny . First of all , hats off to these guys , because this means people who do not believe in destiny are those who believe in themselves which is an excellent quality and which is actually very useful for a person to become successful in their life. But , the only thing I wish to say is , for example , if we take a normal MBA entrance exam , there are approximately 10 lacs (or may be more) who appear for these kinds of exams , but hardly 1 % people will mange to actually get admission in the top most B schools and the rest either drop or prefer the B or C level B schools option and then easily blame destiny for their failure . Well, I do not support them who actually got an admission in B or C level B schools because there it can be easily figured out that there is a lack of effort , but my argument is for those people who actually managed to get a call from a B school but , later on were not able to make it up to finals . Here, destiny plays a huge role , because in spite of putting lots of effort a student not getting selected just because his personality was not good enough to impress the management team , or may be a candidate getting too nervous at the last moment and fails to get an admission is all because of destiny . Its because you are running behind something thats  actually not made for you , something which is not stored in for you  . Because , here in spite of putting endless efforts the results will never turn positive. So now , the question arises is that what about the people who actually got success in their life and how come they got it and did not make any wrong decision or why it was like no wrong steps were taken by them during the entire task ? definitely , efforts play an important role , but more than that is luck factor , since it was stored in his destiny the situations became favourable , the time was always correct , the efforts were rightly taken etc etc , because ultimately it was meant for him and he ought to receive it . If there would be nothing like destiny in this world then everyone would have become either a High Profile business tycoon or an IIM A student , then there would have be no followers of god , and it would be a straight calculation of efforts towards success, but guys , life is not so easy always .........इसमे भी उपरवाले का बोहोत बड़ा calculation है ...... think if we all would have been born with that crystal bowl and could have been capable enough to find out about our future then would have been our life so interesting and creative as it is today ?

Now , the next thing is Astrology , I would really like to add this because in to days world more than 60 % of us believe more in man-gal and Shani rather then believing in ourselves , just because my man-gal is not good I will not perform a certain action for a limited period of my life as it is advised by one of the most knowledgeable astrologer . These is specially for those who believe that astrology will actually help them to change and get better things in their life i.e. they feel they can get a power to change their future . But , it is a completely wrong interpretation of word astrology , I do not say that I do not believe in astrology, but to believe in astrology more then our self is frankly speaking nothing more but pure stupidity. Astrology is something which gives you a rough idea about your future but cannot assure you anything about your future , astrology has powers that to some extent can bring happiness to your life  temperately but ultimately its you who need to work hard and get the most out of your life . As said by one of my friend who is a scholar in astrology said , " Happiness and sorrow are part of your life ,it is a cycle which continues till the end of your life  if you are sad , to certain level with the help of astrology and other superior powers you can change the order of your happiness and sad moments , but mind you , only to some extent and only the order of the same for a temporary period  but, ultimately you need to actually face each and every moment sooner or later in your life......" .

So, lastly its all about our mindset and our thought process that how much do we trust on our self and how much does the other factors influence us .

After a long time ......

Feels like a guest in my own house ..... :) . Writing something after a gap of almost 9 months , but frankly speaking was waiting for a good topic wherein I can express my views and most important is where I feel satisfied from within after writing . For me blogging is much more than a passtime ....I would say its a part of my life , its a platform where I can freely share my views with each and every person . It really makes me feel happy when I receive a comment in my scrapbook stating " It was good to read your blog ...... " . Blogging helped me to make new and most important valuable friends in my life . Anonymous people reads  my post and sends me beautiful comments and later on which turns into friendship is actually very amazing and interesting . People who must be reading this blog must be wondering that today since I have no good topic to write I have chosen to boost myself , but no, its not true, even I believe "Self praise is donkey praise" (some1 very close to me told this before many years ..... and I still miss him and his golden words ). Actually , today wanted to dedicate this special post to all my friends who always appreciated me & encouraged me to write a blog .

I use to love writing since I was in school , but , never took it seriously , later , as the time started moving and when I got myself engaged with other responsibilities of my life I almost forgot writing, or I should say I forgot that I know writing. Then before few months I came across to this medium , wherein I can write whatever I feel in my mind and the whole world can read it . Awesome !!!!

I know by now my friends must be really really bored so would not make them more unhappy by extending this post further . Would just like to thank all my friends for their love and support they gave me till date .
Thank u Guys !!!!!   .